


undead be like that

by kogawhy, undeadpls



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, alpha undead lol, are u ready for the meatstick oogami, domestic undead basically, give leon a course cowards, ill split ur atom ;) - kaoru hakaze 126, jimmy barnes screaming for 10 hours was my motivation, just inaudible screaming, leon is their manager, pwp but its plot without plot, they do aerobics lmfao, u remember that knights dom au?? they were big inspire man i love where are they weve been waiting, undead are my last four brain cells, we already drafted 5 chapters this was sos painful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kogawhy/pseuds/kogawhy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadpls/pseuds/undeadpls
Summary: domestic undead for the soul. to cleanse y’all.





	1. gonna make u mine (better get in line)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aerobics with Yumenosaki tbh  
> writted byv koga and anon one
> 
> ao3 undead crack poly???
> 
> I think arashi and adonis used to live in my house 
> 
> she be writing a self indulgent fic mood  
> also Explain wefbhdfs
> 
> KAY SO WE BOUGHT OUR HOUSE OFF TWO GUYS AND MY M IS CONVICED THAT THEY WERE GYY AND SINCE MY BACKYARD USED TO HAVE HEAPS OF FLOWERS AND BUSHES AND FLORA SHT I THINK ARASHI LIVED IN MY HOUSE WITH ADONIS HIS BOYFRIEND 
> 
> M WHATT THE FUCK RESPECT thats so ??? god tier ???? ngwhta
> 
> they have Meat everyngith 
> 
> and then they put edible flowers on top
> 
> IM CURYIJFND THEY WOUDL SODD DO THAT JVM SNBXC  
> arashi : just a Garnish uwu  
> adonis : ok 
> 
> IM CRYING  
> we could use this as an author note for our ao3 mood

koga jolts out of bed as soon as he hears the guitar riffs at the beginning of destruction road playing on his 4 inch model 3310 nokia screen. 

“rawr” he muttered under his breath. 

adonis locks eyes with koga and stretches his arms out for a hug. koga blinks, confused at this invitation of affection. instead, he high fives adonis and flashes him a big grin. adonis chuckles and pats koga’s head. 

A/N THEY THEN DO THE DIRTY

ITS 5 IN THE MORNINGBAD BREATH

maybe theyre into that who knows  
WHO FUCKS AT 5 AM

koga leaned in to adonis’s touch and let out a little huff. destruction road was still blasting on full volume in the background, adonis’s line shook leon and he let out woofs during the chorus.

“oogami” adonis started. “its aerobics day”. (ITDS CRONATION DAY)

koga nodded and let out a breathy moan when adonis detached his warm hand from koga’s head. 

“come back u cuck grr r r... .r” snarled koga, but adonis was already half way through the door. 

“more like come on with me Destruction Road” adonis added and shut the door right after. the chant within the song had started playing by then. 

(time skip brought to u by kaorus left mullet)

it was assessment day at yumenosaki. the four members of undead were in an aerobics group together and today was the Big day. each member was feeling different emotions. 

adonis was pumped and excited to get an excellence 8 on this assessment, koga had sweaty hands and he was very jittery and nervous. reikao on the other hand, kaoru was wondering if the aerobics routine attracted girls. while rei was more concerned whether or not my chemical romance was coming back or if they were just dead, without the un.

undead were sitting on the gym floor, watching the other groups practice. their p.e shorts rubbed against the wooden floor. ..frictions .. mm 

everyone else was ecstatic for the assessment with the exception of Fine, since eichi was being a little snobby sick bitch and he cant really like do aerobics lolz. the same with tori, hes so small that the slowest human walk is literally him trying to run. also because he’s the size of my thumb.

the beginning chords of 5,6,7,8 began start and everyone was scrambling to get to position. they were placed accordingly to their units (of course) and everyone got ready for the aerobics off. 

as soon as the man counted from five to eight, everyone hastily put their arms to the side, bringing themselves to a t position. 

arms up.

clap.

leg up, leg down. 

Foot kickin', finger clickin',  
leather slapping, hand clappin'  
Hip bumpin', music thumpin', knee hitchin', heel and toe

Floor scuffin', leg shufflin',  
big grinnin', body spinnin'

Rompin' stompin', 

pumpin' jumpin', slidin' glidin',

the whole of undead let out a few breathy moans, kaoru heaving a lot more to distract the others. chiaki was grinding cause we all know who the real school athlete is.

“Wanna make you mine, better get in line  
5-6-7-8”

the units had end poses, which determined about 90% of the grade. undead’s end pose was the epitome of scene phase, but prep kaoru blew a kiss to the air and koga wouldn’t stop growling. rabbits or rabbies were kawaii desu uwu. 

ryuseitai did their normal power ranger looking pose. sensei was so used to it by now that they get an A for achieved on their overall assessment. 

Knights’ performance didn’t actually go to plan. they almost got a n/a but then arashi winked and blew a kiss at sensei and they got achieved four.

2wink got a Merit, since they were like counter balance. Akatsuki was mega 3some it was kinda hot sensei got a bit off. 

they got an E for excellence.

switch didnt even show up. valkyrie cried because mika’s bandages tangled them during the performance. trickstar did their best but lol it be like that. they be doing their thing as picnic blankets.

in the end, undead was alpha gamma superior. until kaoru passed out due to physical excursion. the dance is like three minutes kaoru n o. Weak Ass Bitch. but they still get an E. (seven)

maM didn’t get the chance to perform due to the fact, he was not in a group. instead, he assisted the sensei and filmed the performances. but we all know it wasn’t for assessment purposes and its actually for blackmail and getting off. ;)

im eating my shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on a true storry xD (lmao not really) :
> 
> Undead doing the areobics dance is gonna be what gets me through this period 
> 
> THATS A CHAPTER EFBH VDAJNS  
> we can Start by koga Rawring out of bed in the morn


	2. salute to yumenosaki *uses left hand*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tthey literally leave the fucking school they drop. they be the bunsen to my burner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD IF MY CAPS LOCK BREAK I PISS ON THE EARTH  
> piss grass,, 
> 
> damn this is like cooler than water solid
> 
> piss tree  
> piss concrete  
> WATER OSLID  
> DO U MEAN ICE WHAT THE FUUCK  
> WHO SAYS WATER SOLIDFG

rei sakuma san called for his unit to gather in their practice rooms. though it took a bit of time to collect each member as their attention spans were about as short as tori. 

“hey vampire bastard” ( LMAO I WAS GONNA WRITE REI’S RESPONSE WHICH WAS GONNA BE “hey babe” or smth like that THEN I REALIZED THIS IS NOT REIKOGA THIS IS adokoga AND REIKAO I-)

“wank no” 

“ok anyways” rei started, “its the day we do the stirke ”

kaoru paid no attention to rei, he was too busy looking down on his Motorola RAZR V3m Pink Verizon Flip Phone. he managed to secure 7 stable dates tonight.

“sakuma san what do you mean strike in my country we do-”

“iM GAME” koga cut adonis off

“yeah so im not really feeling yumenosaki anymore?? like its just not my yumenosaki” rei stated. koga and adonis nodded as kaoru feigned agreement.

“at the very end of astronomical twilight after sunset and just before night™, we leave. but we set a small fire in the student council room.” 

“wait sakuma san why fire” adonis questioned.

“for like immersion?? like we leave a footprint. that undead existed and undead will forever live on from this school”

“omg she did not just do that dirty girl” kaoru chuckled to his pink and funky flip phone. koga gave the blonde boy a good ol Look and telling off MAMA AINT RAISED NO FOOL.

rei gave kaoru a questioning look, but decided to ignore the younger boy. “yeah ok whatever adonis u in or are you coward?” koga asked.

“hai, i will protext us.” the puprle boy replied. 

“ok good, i’ll meet you all after school. i must rest”

(time skip brought the jonas brothers (Switch))

the last class of d4y had ended and undead once again gathered in the Practice Room 3. 

“i got the lighter” said Kaoru of which the rest silently applaud him for because when does he ever do things right and work.

rei gave kaoru a heartwarming smile and walked next to the blonde boy. 

“wait what are those sakuma-sanm” kaoru inquired. “yeah the fuck are those” koga intervened.

“i too am curious senpai” adonis says.

“ah~, these my children are bunsen burners. we’ll set these up around the student council” rei stated

“What the fuck u said we were setting it on fire???? lying ass bitcnh ?? whered u get those??” koga rawred

“doggige no??? i dont actually have money to pay for the damage done and as much as i hate HE i cant actually set files on fire” rei started “so the REAL plan is to put all of these around the room and leave it on the blue flame.. with the lights off”

sunspense music plays… ..

“dude sakums san isnt that bad to breathe tho?” kaoru inquired. “yeah but it isnt that much of a damage” said the latter.

“but tenshouin senpai is already Weaks”

rei paid no mind to adonis “after placing these around the room, we leave all the lights off and put our undead album next to a bunsen.. let them know we be here but not really”

“lets go cowards” koga screamed and the rest of undAB fell in line, with rei sakums in the front because authority figure™

The unit marched outside of th e student council room, koga growling along the way. 

rei stopped suddledlyn, of which the rest of the group ooofed. koga was the most affected as adonis had been behind him. he let out a faint, whiny mating call. 

“oogams not now” adonis hushed the shorter boy. 

rei looked towards the others.. he stated that they have arrived. they looked up upon the big big door. “woah”

“ok adonis k un please open the door for i am too weak” rei instructed the younger boy.

as adonis opened the door, rei quickly positioned himself through the Opening and got to work right away. ;)

everyone gathered around rei and took three bunsens each and they carefully placed them around the stuent council room. if ur wonderign where eichi is he is weaks and the rest are eating by the hospital food court. 

as the group finished placing the bunsens, , kaoru started passing down matches, of which they took turns Striking. 

“lol fuck i realized i never actually taught u how to light one” kukued rei. “sakms-sans please” kaoru whined

“ok so (WHERES THE GAS LINE FUCK I DIDNT THIK THIS THROUGH) as u can see the student council room actually has a gas main underneath the cabinets.. because.. because” rei paused (“its ok sakumas-suns take your tume”)

“connect the tube to the main source and install the rubber gas tube to the bunsen. position the air hole until it is slightly open. turn the gas thing on and Light” 

“uhh hai”

“now open those air ports until you see a blue flame” rei ordered the rest of his unit mmmm dominance 

koga let out a howl  
adnosx got it done pretty aauick 

kaoru almost set his Motorola RAZR V3m Pink Verizon Flip Phone on fire. until rei sakuma Came and helped him … gays

rei dimmed the lights within the room and told the rest to Hush…. they started to pack up and leave the student council room.. 

“Breathe Methane Stinky” rei muttered to no one. kaoru went ???? but stayed quiet. 

in less than a second rei Bolted back to the light music club room and positioned himself to Carry his coffin… “sakumsp-san do you nee-” 

“shut your fuck” rei what the fck rude ass bitch i love u but like ?!?!? ur boyfriend ??!?!?! mg u right

in 2 mins the coffin was out of school. .. its 8pm undead left …. .

the student council room looked blue… blue hues filled the room… you can see through the window….. 

koga grinned and let out dog yelps DOG CAN YELP THEY ARE CAPABLE OF SOUND ENERGY (?) adonis Smiled

kaoru uwued, his left hand enveloped with reis Dick da fcuk  
mm fuck yesWAIT NO IM BLIND I THOUGHT THAT WAS KOGA FCK MY GLASSESS I NEED i hate my blind ass somtimes f cking I THOUFHT IT WAS KOGA AND HE CHEATS ON ADONIS LIKE AGHH I MIGHT CRY SO  
THEY WALK OUT OF SCHOOL HOLDING EACH OTHERS DICKS LMFAO Gay4

They Saunter Out Of School. Rei Carrying His Coffin Behind Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MM bitch  
> satan featured in next chappter hnng
> 
> darkness4 
> 
> byeTHATS FUCKING CURESED :0 STOP ;) ;3 SJND FN I SWEAR TO FUCKING RUHIFKDSLAK IM PISSING YRUOU FSDVWDASFMKZD 
> 
> you give me feather headache WAH NO IM SORRY earache  
> riot us


	3. undead got life back in school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> h e point of view...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know how to start thigs   
> BUT CAN U FINISH ;)

h e point of view.

the previous day, undead were grinding with bunsen burners. but today was a stark contrast. the members of UNDEAD were called into the counsellor’s offics ft. me

since i was there, the office had one less seat so koga had to sit either on the floor or someone’s lap. he chose adonis. vice versa with reikao, kaoru chose rei. what a bunch of freaks yikes.

i open my mouth to be a bratty bitch   
“ so kunigi-sensei brought u here.. do you know why u are here.”   
my voice was hoarse… im sick.. uku uku//

“SHUT YUOP YOU PIECE OF FUCK YUCKY I HOPE YOU KISS CHICKEN CARITLAGE AND GET 33448URHF TYPES OF SLAMONELLS” koga rawred a mighty raqr. he almost lunged at me ew. 

adonis let out a small growl.. or purr as kaoru tried to avoid eye contact with me..

stupid rei sakusms ugh who does this bitch think he is let out a hum.. “well, as u can clearly see.. we’re unaware… enlighten us Tenshouin-kun” he gave me a smirk omg what the fuck disgusting rot you hot bitch ugh 

rei’s eyes flashed god that is actually so hot whatth e fuck youre not allowed to do that not in MY yumenosaki.

enlighten him?? ok whatch me 

“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat.” i shot the entire group aa big smirk… ha.hza  
rei kukued “sabes el camino’

i huffed quitety “chico”

there was tenshouin in the air until kaoru squirmed in his seat….. his sieat….. rei skaums lap… dick up.. .. (“kaoru kun kukuku how dirty but not now”)

“you cant leave” i asserted in a dominant tone as the rest looked at me with a scowl. . Lol love that undenad is an actual living Ew

“for the first time u actually want a unit to stay in tact” rei voiced

omg,.. that actually hurt my lungs how rude …

“what can i do to make u stay” i inquired

“higher unit funds”   
“ a girl to Flex ”   
“pay my rent”   
“Meat”’  
they managed to say simultaneously (“what no guys we agreed on this already we need money” “yeah to pay my Rent “ memat “A g irl”)

“highter unit funds” (“what he said”)

hm…. i touch my chin. its surpisingly really rough yuck whiteheads. “Ok Fair i can do that” 

i shook hands with each of them acutaly fucking disgusting i need to sanitisie and use wet wipes and water and soap for 3 years until their touch disappears i feel so tainted with evil 

“we’ll be back Tomoowrow” they Said after one another   
“Goodnight thenchouin” rei Said

“goodmornign”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its kogawithanupdate mm yum i only ever work on this on wednensdays since thats when my cursed 2h class is on


	4. sister shaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> undead + smooth legs + gushing. what more does one need?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "let me feel your legs sakusm-san"

“ i need all four of you to shave... ur legs,” stated anzu. “ for the fans of course.” 

undead had very contrasting (nuclear) reactions.  
“ what the hell” - the hro bldie  
“ lmao what’s shaving dont you mean shedding, cause if so wait till next full moon.” - wank o  
“ anzu wh y” - meatstick  
“ righty, pass me the razors sister and ill show yall how its done.” ur boy sakuma 

anzu decided to leave the four Boys with razors (lmao dumbest idea of the century) and continue sewing picnic blankets for trickstar. 

kaoru, koga and adonis huddled around rei, who had instantly taken his pants off.

rei’s legs weren’t even that hairy but someone had to teach them how to shave. it was essential vital to human survival. jk it was just cause anzu didn’t know how to make leg hair attractive and match with leather shorts. 

“so basically, i learnt all this from my good Sister, hammy.” rei started. 

out of nowhere, rei pulls out shaving cream and a bottle of conditioner. 

“ pick ur poison b.” rei says lowkey looking like the gambler koga card. 

adonis swerves away from rei and pick s up the razor. . “yowai mono wa ore ga mamoru”

“Adonix no ur going to cut you -” “i will protext the weak sakuam san”

“anyways” rei continued “ first you apply a huge amount of shaving cream or conditioner onto your legs .”

kaoru picked up the bottle of conditioner and stared at it. “ sakumsda-san does using conditioner make the leg hair Shine?”

koga growled and glared at kaoru “IT DOESNT SHINE”

“THATS WHAT MY CONDITIONER DOES”

“IT MAKES IT CMOOT HHAVE U USED OCNDICITONER , it has nothing to Shine the hair is being shaved omf”

“ y’all arguing about shaving yet y’all are cowards that don’t even”

“shut up sakuma” both kaoru and koga (SORRY KFOOGAT I FORGOT WHO KOGA WAS FOR LIKE A SPLIT SECOND) glared at rei.

“five bucks it Shines before you shave tho”  
it was this moment that koga threw the bottle of conditioner at kaoru’s head. “u fucking fuck fuck”

“ so you extend your legs after applying cream. then in one smooth motion you just drag the razor along your legs.” and just like that in one smooth motion rei dragged the razor along his left leg.

the other members of undead looked in shock and admiration at rei who was now working onto his righT leg. again one smooth motion and soon both of rei’s legs were as smooth as the motion of shaving. 

“ and you can move your legs into different positions for all those different angles” 

*insert abstruse leg movement*

“let me feel ur legs” something nat actually said on 28 august 2018

“sure”

soon, koga, kaoru and adonis were stroking rei’s smooth legs. 

“ wow, senpai this is so smooth”  
“ can shaving attract Gorls?”  
“ im doing this but without cream or water”  
“ adonix no-”

rei winks at his fellow members. while holding a butter knife ( that appeared out of nowhere ) and stroking his legs, rei stated “ my legs are about as smooth as the butter this knife spreads ”

“now, its ur turn ...” 

*a cry within*

koga started bawling out his eyes.  
“why is shaving so difficult???!?!!?!? i’d rather shed naturally or look like bigfoot.”

“ come on babe. don’t be coward” adonis “comforted” his boyfriend. ;)  
koga threw the shaving cream at his boyfriend. 

after a surprisingly long time every single undead member successfully shaved their legs.

they were all now feeling each other’s legs.

"... this feels so nice”  
“ lets do this monthly”  
“howd u get it smooth in that crevice?”

anzu walked back in, having finished sewing the picnic blankets . she was holding something shiny.

anzu drops the shiny things on the floor after seeing that undead were all pants less.

“the hell is this???!!??”

“LEATHER SHORT SHORTS!!!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N based off a variety of things including:  
> When bts had to shave their legs for the i need u era and that one Photo.  
> An iconic line i said last year i’m about smooth as the butter this knife spreads ”  
> some amazing frens that are not cowards and told me how one shaves one’s legs  
> that shakespeare play we studied last term the tempest  
> some messages in a group chat
> 
> and last but not least, my amazing imagination  
> Anon one ;)
> 
> hhey.. .. that coniditioner arugument actually happenrnd irl i lost 10 braincells trying lto tell stupfi anon it doejnst chshine


	5. god fuckign dmanti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based off the one Time n** committed a cardinal sin

august 29th  
koga walked into adonis’ room. his purple head boyfriend was on his laptop, facetiming his family. koga smiled and wrapped his arms around adonis.

but since adonisx is actually not good with devices, the dell laptop screen stays black and only adosix’s family can see them.

“hello everyone” koga flashes a big grin and waves to his boyfriend’s family, who were all gushing over adokoga because schmood.

“my family and i were talking about how excited they are for when we visit them next year.”

adonis’s family said something in their own language (I M NOT SURE WHERE EXACTLY ADONIS IS FROM IN THE MIDDLE EAST AND THEY SPEAK LIKE 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES SO PLEASE BEAR W/ ME) and his face just lit up like my really small christmas tree.

koga busted his biggest uwu bcs same.

“what did they tell u that made u happier than when we went to the mad butcher?”  
adonis kissed koga instead of answering. 

“secret” he winked at his boyfriend and they continued k i s s i n g

time skip brought to u by angry and dramatic anon one

the morning sunlight seeped through the window and warmed adokoga’s skin. adonis woke up first and moved the blankets, also waking up koga.

“i dreamt of you last night” koga muffled from adonis’s shoulder.

“really? why?”  
“i don’t know. but you were moving back to the middle east when our album was going to be released. you gave me so much stress in that dream. i think I cried.”

“wah noo! don’t be sad. im not going anywhere babe. im kogaP.”

“good.”  
koga nuzzled into adonis some more before complaining.

“where are you going? i thought you said you weren’t going anywhere. come backkkk”  
“im going to get my belated birthday present”

“FWHAT FJ3RIF!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BIRTHDAY???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BELATED???!?? BO-“

“ uh- my birthday was yesterday. lmao don’t worry i forgot about it too until my family told me”

“you motherf-“

koga stands up straight and hits his own boyfriend.

“ow what the-”

“i can’t believe you weren’t aware of your own birthday. why didn’t you tell me???!??!? i thought we had something”

“what are you on about??? we are literally dating?????”

“i wasted ???!?! time ?? stressing ?? about??!?!? you??!?!? in my dream?!?!?”

“its???? a ??? dream?????”

“ dreams signify your subconscious desires OH MY GOD I SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANT YOU TO GO THE MIDDLE EAST”

“YOU’VE LOST UR MIND. WE ARE LITERALLY BOTH GOING TO THE MIDDLE EAST. TOGETHER”

“you know what, just move back to the middle east i dont care” 

“ i would take offense but you’ve lost ur mind”

“ weren’t you thinking about me??? about how this would affect me??? weren’t you aware of the consequences??? of your own boyfriend???

“we literally made out yesterday??!?!?”

“i actually can’t look at you the same way anymore”

“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??”

“how do you forget your own birthday??? like who does that???”

“GET OVER IT BA-“

“you know what, don’t talk to me. i need space right now. i cant look at you anymore. i might cry because of you. “

adonis let out a verbal ?

adokoga continued arguing for about one more high school period (hour) and a half. until kaoru walked with a bunch of red spots on his neck. because rei ;) .

“what are you Gay asses arguing about. there’s an ocarina of earthc legend of Link game outside wait ing for u ugh stupif homos god” kaoru sighs

“BIT8EDCH?????? NGHAT THESE FUCK??? I WAS OGING TO GET YOU THAT FUCKW ME” KOGA HOWLED

“ wah no dont be s4d. my family was gonna buyit so u wouldnt have to pay for it” 

“god this is sos painful” kaoru cried from his ears the hickes grew bigger in size each passing second the air is sucking him. rei needs to step up his game 

turns out rei sakusmd was playing adonis’s game on the nintendo.  
adokoga closed the door no mukou kimi no ashioto hitosodyute) on kaoru and then they did the thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey u hh ignore the date we be ta read this 204 tims xdd


End file.
